A good kind of arguing

As with any family, we have disagreements and arguments from time to time. The vast majority of these are between our 6 kids.

They can be passionate about many things: toys, books, food, friends, sports, opinions, and being “right.” People want to be heard, validated and respected. It is often in these waves of passions that arguments arise.

We try to navigate these treacherous waters with extreme care. Our goal is to try to get at the root of the behavior. What are they truly saying? What needs are not being met? How can we help them? Once we know what they are truly communicating, we can address it more effectively. All behaviors, good or bad, communicate something. More often than not, some kind of fear is at the root of their behavior. We do our best to listen more intently and read between the lines to see how to proceed.

Please don’t hear me wrong, our kids do not get everything they want in this process. haha! Oh how they would wish. But, we do try to hear what they are communicating behind the veil of their behavior. From that point, we hopefully will know how to lead them through these more heated and highly emotional times using Truth, using God’s Word, and meeting them right where they are in the moment.

Jesus did the same. He met people in the midst of their need. This is our desire, as well. We definitely aren’t perfect like Jesus, but we do seek to follow Him and His ways.

In our home, there is one kind of arguing that I actually appreciate. Not that I love the arguing, but I love what it expresses, in general.

You see, every day, our 5 older kids argue about who gets to go help Munchkin at various points throughout the day.

They all LOVE to go in and greet her in the morning, hold her, and bring her out to the kitchen for all to see her. She is extra cuddly, has the most amazing bed-head, and typically wakes up with a huge smile, which makes it even that much sweeter for them to want to be with just her for those few minutes (more like seconds, really) in the morning. They beg to hold her at every chance they can get.

There is so much love expressed for Munchkin.

In their passion and love for her, it’s easy for them to argue over who gets to sit by her at the table, who gets to hold her when we’re out and about, who gets to buckle her into her car seat, or who gets to have her on their lap during family movie night.

They argue over Munchkin every single day of the week. Every. Single. Day. Though it can be wearisome at times, as the mom, to constantly be thinking about who helped her last to know whose turn it is now to be with her, I am grateful for this struggle. I would much rather have my children argue over who gets to actively love and help someone, than for them to disconnect and want nothing to do with anyone.

And yes, I do completely realize that many of their tiffs about her are based in selfishness, “He got to get her out of her room yesterday, it’s my turn!” But, as I mentioned previously, those are easier to navigate when they come from a place of helping and serving, than from a place of isolation.

We actually ended up creating a system to ease these daily arguments: Bro’s day to help Munchkin is on Monday, Demo is on Tuesday, Sparkle is on Wednesday, King is on Thursday, and Taz is on Friday. Though this system has helped tremendously, we still get arguments here and there (especially if someone else gets her out of bed in the morning because the assigned person for the day is still sleeping). And, that’s OK. We  learn to practice letting go of our personal desires in order to bless others.

Sacrifice.

Compassion.

Grace.

Even amidst the arguments, Papa and I will continue to lead and guide our children to love and serve each other well; we will continue to dig deeper to find the roots of their behaviors to better meet their needs; we will continue to learn more about ourselves and others as we navigate familial relationships; and we will continue to cast the vision of foster care, of sacrifice, of being brothers and sisters, and of being a strong and solid family.

To God be the Glory!

Carpe Diem

Mornings, Mondays and Firsts.

What do these three things have in common?

They are all at the beginning.

Mornings … the beginning of the day.
Mondays … the beginning of the school/work week.
Firsts … the beginning of the month or the year.

For whatever reason, any new idea, plan or change I am wanting to implement into my life and/or family … I will always start at the very beginning. According to Julie Andrews, it’s a very good place to start, ya know.

If it’s the middle of the day and I decide I want to try eating healthier, I’ll wait until the next morning (or week, or month, or year) to begin.

If it’s Wednesday and I think of a new daily schedule or routine I want to incorporate into our schooling, I will wait until the following Monday (beginning of the week) to try it.

If I want to attempt a life-shifting decision, like going without FaceBook (social media free) for a long time, I’ll wait until the turn of the new year, on the first, to begin.

Catch that theme? I will wait …

I’m not fully sure why, but I do know this is an action (waiting …) I tend to do.  Hmmmm … that’s probably more of an inaction, than an actual action. Either way, it’s a pattern of mine.

There’s just something about being at the beginning that helps me feel better or more prepared. Perhaps I wait … because it’s a fresh start as I’m not jumping into the middle of it; or because I like projects to be orderly with a beginning, middle and end; or maybe because I fear messing it up before I fully understand or comprehend it. Yes, I like waiting.

Knowing this, knowing I tend to put things off instead of jumping right in, I’m going to try something new for a bit. I’m going to do the exact opposite.

Instead of being afraid, waiting, fearing failure, trying to understand it all, or not wanting to fumble my way through it, I am making a deliberate choice to just begin. No matter when or where, I’ll just start. No more waiting.

This may be reckless, I don’t know, but I’m going to give it a go. I may fall flat on my face a few times, but I’m at least going to fall trying. I don’t want to be paralyzed any more.

One of my goals, as of late, is to try to blog every single day of the week (but still not on weekends). Make it habit and just practice the skill of writing. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to accomplish this every week … but I have resolved myself to be OK with falling short along the way. For instance, I missed posting something yesterday, but that’s OK! I didn’t stress about it, at all. I’m going to live, you’re going to live, and life will continue to move forward.

I simply know I won’t hit any target at all if I don’t even have one to aim at in the first place. But, if I aim and just keep shooting, something is bound to stick. So, I’m going to go for it. If I have the urge to wait and wait for when it’s “best” to begin, I’m going to move to action, instead. Not just do the talking, but start taking action. Again, I will likely mess up quite a bit along the way, but I’m learning to be OK with that.

I just know, if I wait for the “perfect” time or the “perfect” beginning to start everything I want to do or dream of doing, I may end up doing … absolutely nothing.

Nope. That is not what I want. It’s time to get a moving.

Carpe Diem.

Seize the day.

To God be the Glory!

Mission or Means?

I may fumble over my words here a bit as I try to explain what’s in my mind and thoughts. I do often struggle with keeping things simple, but I’ll attempt to do so in this post.

I have been pondering for many years (literally, years!) the concept of our “mission,” as Christians. More specifically, when you strip away just about everything else, do we (the Church) have one mission as a whole, or do we each have our own unique mission?

If you visit individual churches or peruse the internet for church “mission statements,” are they all generally the same mission or do they vary?

Before going further, to clarify, I’m not saying this is a “thus sayeth the Lord” type post. These are simply my thoughts as I see it right now. I’m continually trying to piece the puzzle together, read Scripture, dig deeper, and see the bigger picture.

On we go …

Though we may find (great or minimal) variations in church mission statements worldwide, I would venture to say the church’s primary mission is universal. In short, this mission as Jesus tells us, is to simply Love God, love people, obey his commands, and tell the world about Him. Sure, there is a bit more to it when you dig deeper, but those words of Jesus sum it up quite perfectly.

The reason I bring this up is because I think we might have confused a couple of things along the way. Specifically, the difference between the mission and the means.

Mission or Means?

One of the online dictionaries defines “means” as …

an action or system by which a result is brought about; a method.

I believe God has made it clear what we are to do, as Believers (as stated earlier with Jesus’ instructions), but we each have unique means in which to carry that mission into the world. The “action or system” by which the mission (result) is brought about, can be vastly different between individuals and churches.

I think it’s easy to have a tendency to focus on the means as the end-all-be-all. But, it would be of great valuable to remember, the means is actually not the focus. The means is simply the process or the method to get to the end result, which is to carry out the mission.

Where are we setting our sites, our eyes, our focus? Is it on the mission, or is it on the means?

I don’t feel like I’m being very clear. So, to help draw a distinction between these two (mission and means), below are a few “means” we see around us today:

  • Caring for orphans
  • Involvement in the political realm
  • Owning a business
  • Providing jobs
  • Discipling teens
  • Investing in friendships
  • Protecting the innocent
  • Making food for people in need
  • Producing movies
  • Fighting sex-trafficking
  • Praying for others
  • Writing songs
  • Teaching children
  • Saving and improving lives through the medical field
  • Serving the community (firefighters, policemen, caseworkers)
  • Visiting shut-ins
  • Making jewelry that brings hope
  • Preaching
  • Supporting life in unwed mothers
  • Being the head of your household
  • Loving your spouse
  • Coaching a sports team
  • Counseling people
  • Brewing coffee for those in the cold
  • Praying and interceding for others
  • Valuing life
  • Giving of your time, possessions, money, and/or talents

As you may have noticed, these are not our actual mission, they are simply the means of fulfilling it.

There are many ways (means) we can love God, love people, obey His commands and share the Good News of Jesus Christ. Maybe you are able to identify with a few on the list? Many of them are shared in Scripture (i.e. taking care of the widows and the orphans, giving to the needy, and praying for others), while others are not mentioned at all. For example, producing movies is not specifically stated in the Bible (as movies didn’t exist then). But, it is a very valid and powerful way to share Christ with the world.

There are many and varied means for carrying out the universal mission.

So, what do we do now?

For starters, I encourage you to not neglect what you have been given. In Scripture, we are simply encouraged to use those gifts for God’s glory (1 Peter 4:10, Romans 12:6-8, 1 Corinthians 12:4-7, and 1 Corinthians 12:28). Whatever gifts and talents they may be, use ’em. Share them with those around you. If it’s hospitality, welcome people in. If it’s encouraging others, do it with all of your heart. If it’s teaching, teach with diligence. If it’s leading, lead with integrity, honor and faithfulness. Be creative, organize, play, work, serve, lead, follow, write, sing, forgive … in whatever means you have been given, do it with everything you’ve got. There is value in what you have to share and give. And, as I said in a recent blog post, “leave it all on the court.

A word of caution, be careful not to focus solely on discovering and carrying out the means. Instead, keep your eyes set on the greater mission: love God, love people, obey Christ, and tell others about Him.

As Christians, we have a part in the Body of Christ (the Church), unified under Him, but each with a unique function and effect. We work together and all have value and purpose. Step back and see the big picture. It’s quite an amazing picture to behold.

One mission, many means.

To God be the Glory, Honor and Praise … forever and ever, Amen.

 

Too many ideas, not enough time

I have so many thoughts running through my head every single day. All. Day. Every. Day. Some of them are things I need to do, want to do, dream of doing, or just random ideas about a variety things in our lives. I know I’m not alone in this … but boy … it’s quite a lot to process when I lay it all out there.

For instance, below are 105 actual thoughts, ideas and questions I’ve already had TODAY (and it’s only 12:11pm as I type this!!):

  1. I’d like to start exercising on a regular basis.
  2. I can’t really exercise until I get my plantar fasciitis under control (it’s too painful right now!).
  3. I need to do physical therapy for my plantar fasciitis.
  4. I need to fold that basket full of clean laundry.
  5. I’m contemplating if I could/would ever become a midwife or doula in the future. Would I be good? Would people like me? Is it a good source of income? What training and schooling do I need to do?
  6. I have a lesson to finish for my Shakespeare class at our local homeschool co-op.
  7. I can’t forget to give Munchkin her medicine with lunch.
  8. I’d love to journal, if time allows.
  9. What are we going to have for dinner?
  10. I have my old laptop, I’d like to check and see if it still works.
  11. I need to stay close and tend to Bro as he is battling an intense eye pressure headache from his glaucoma.
  12. I want to watch a video on YouTube … but I need to fight that urge so I can stay focused on what needs to get done. Otherwise, I’ll get sucked into the vortex of videos.
  13. I need to update our budget and purchases with the Every Dollar program we use.
  14. My kids are loud. Maybe I should invest in noise-canceling headphones?
  15. We have ants sneaking into the house, I should really address that soon. Maybe I’ll ask Papa to take care of that later? I keep forgetting to mention it to him.
  16. I love that my kids are playing Legos together, but I really need to help them get moving on their schoolwork for the day.
  17. Did the garbage get taken out to the road? The garbage truck is coming today.
  18. I really want to play around with my new microphone for podcasting, but I’ll wait until I get my new headphones so I can hear myself more clearly.
  19. Why do I buy cheap-o Ramen? It’s so junky for our health, but we love it.
  20. How do I get my kids motivated to do their work without sounding like I’m nagging all of the time?
  21. Papa and I should have a little pow-wow of what we are going to commit to doing this year with our kids. More specifically, what will our schedule look like with all of our activities, sports, homeschooling, youth groups, work, commitments, etc.? What should we focus on and what do we need to let go of or simplify?
  22. Taz has a science kit he loves using. I hate science. But, I feel guilty for not sitting down with him to do some experiments.
  23. I wonder what Munchkin’s future is going to be?
  24. Sparkle loves her new boots. Wow. Like, a lot. She hasn’t taken them off all morning from the time she woke up.
  25. How can I teach my kids to be patient and kind with their words, when I struggle with those very same things?
  26. This bowl of peanuts is probably stale by now. I wonder if I should make some peanut butter? Or toss them?
  27. I want a piece of chocolate.
  28. I love Papa.
  29. The kids are getting over their sickness, but are asking for sugary treats. Ugh. No sugar for 2 more days, kids!
  30. I love that Papa fixed our leaking faucet. So thankful.
  31. I don’t miss Facebook.
  32. These empty drawer bins in the garage need to either be put to use, or given away, or sold.
  33. I need to return these shorts to Costco.
  34. I still need to sell that huge lot of Barbie stuff for the girls.
  35. Demo is very organized. I love that about her.
  36. King was so kind to take Munchkin outside to play for a bit.
  37. What do I do with this loaf of Jewish Rye bread our neighbors gave us? I’m not a fan of the flavor.
  38. I love Doritos.
  39. Shall I eat a sandwich, chips and fruit for lunch, or shall I eat veggies, pita chips and hummus?
  40. I want a second cup of coffee, but am limiting it to one cup in the morning. Self-control, Momma. You can do it.
  41. I have great kids.
  42. I need to take these guest pillows and blankets upstairs and put them in one of the kids’ closets. I wonder if there’s room?
  43. I love having a clean kitchen.
  44. Today is a good day so far.
  45. I wonder how long we will serve in the foster care system? (I don’t have an answer, by the way.)
  46. Why do my kids ask a million questions? More specifically, the same questions over and over!
  47. I just want to curl up with a cozy blanket and read my book(s) today.
  48. I need to remember to give my friend these hand-me-down clothes that are just sitting here by the front door.
  49. Time to make grilled cheese and tomato soup for a sick feeling Bro.
  50. Don’t forget to buy a new runner rug from Costco to go in front of the washer and dryer.
  51. Make sure to note all upcoming appointments and commitments for the week in my planner (I use a “Happy Planner” for those who are curious).
  52. Make a new appointment for Demo with the physical therapist for next week.
  53. Call the occupational therapist for Munchkin to get evaluated for getting physical therapy, too.
  54. Remember to read the story one of my Shakespeare students wrote and shared with me. (I love that he did this!)
  55. Oh no! I forgot to meal plan for the week!
  56. Use up the red meat in the freezer.
  57. What in the world am I going to do with this massive frozen pork loin from Costco? It’s huge! It’ll feed us for a week! How do I store it while it’s defrosting? It won’t fit in the fridge. Maybe use the cooler?
  58. How will I use these rice noodles? Stir-fry of some sort, maybe? Why did I even buy them?
  59. Start the day with “morning time” with the kids … even if it’s already later than usual.
  60. Go ahead and take a shower and get dressed. (You’ll all be pleased to know I did do this, yay!)
  61. How can I change my tone to be more positive throughout the day instead of negative?
  62. Smile at the kids.
  63. Postpone a couple of particular blog posts until a better and more proper time.
  64. I really need a haircut. When can I go? I should call my friend so we can set an appointment together and try someone new! (Haircut date with a friend, yay!)
  65. Taz’s adoption day anniversary is coming up! Are we going to do anything special for it? We haven’t yet, but maybe we will this year?
  66. I should do a load of laundry, but lack the gumption to do so today. I’ll do it tomorrow.
  67. Why do my kids keep breaking all of our rulers? Maybe I should invest in metal ones.
  68. I would like to write down a few things I am thankful for in my “thankful” journal. I haven’t done that in a long while.
  69. Order more glaucoma eye drops for Bro this week before he runs out.
  70. Text a friend and ask when hockey season officially begins.
  71. Do I take Munchkin to our homeschool co-op even though she still has a lingering cough? Ask co-op leadership what they think.
  72. Sell the “Echo Dot” we were given to help raise funds for Bro’s missions trip this summer.
  73. Start pulling out the swim club fundraiser info to start preparing now for it.
  74. When is my next Chiropractor appointment?
  75. Is Pay Day this week?
  76. Man, we are flying through our tissues from all of this sickness.
  77. Oops. I forgot to put away our clothes that are still hanging up in the garage.
  78. I love our comfy comforter.
  79. I wonder if Papa started reading the book I left in the bathroom? It’s a great book.
  80. Have the kids completed their math yet?
  81. Where are all of our erasers?
  82. Put a piece of washy tape on my earbuds so they are distinguished from Bro’s earbuds (we have the same pair).
  83. Yuck. We have a lot of dust around the TV in our bedroom.
  84. Put away medical papers into Munchkin’s file.
  85. Make a note on the calendar when to refill Munchkin’s prescriptions.
  86. What dreams did I have as a kid?
  87. I really like writing.
  88. Do podcasts count as social media?
  89. I’d love to bake loaves of bread and take them to the homeless while they are still warm, along with a large bottle of water. Bread and water, the essentials. (The kids got excited about this, too, when I told them about it during our “morning time.”)
  90. I need to stop comparing myself to other moms.
  91. I want to always live and parent from a biblical perspective.
  92. Prioritize, Momma.
  93. Why do we have this rolling office chair? It just gets in the way!
  94. Oh! Let’s take a cute impromptu pic of the kids! Well, except without Bro who is laying down and not feeling well.
  95. Focus, Taz, focus. I’m trying to help you with your math, not frustrate you.
  96. Take a deep breath.
  97. Delegate one of the kids to cover the windows on our front doors with parchment paper. I feel too exposed.
  98. King really likes his hair style. He’s always touching his hair. He also needs a haircut to clean up some of those edges. When in the world am I going to do that? Sparkle is pestering me for a haircut, too. Might as well give everyone haircuts … need a full day to do that! No full days this to accomplish this. Maybe in a couple of weeks?
  99. I should really get new shoes to help my aching feet, but I feel guilty for buying some (they’re usually pretty pricey for the kind I need with my plantar fasciitis issues).
  100. I wonder when I’ll be able to finish filing our stack of paperwork and bills?
  101. I don’t like that plastic chair. I prefer this wood one with a higher backing.
  102. Text or email teachers letting them know we might not make it to co-op this week.
  103. I love date night with Papa. Date night, best night!
  104. I think we have dentist appointments coming up. Yup, 4 dentist appointments and 2 orthodontic appointments next month.
  105. I should write a new blog post about something. But, I’m not sure what to write.

Y’all. It’s true. I had ALL of these thoughts cross my mind at some point this morning … and that’s not even all of them. In fact, many of these, I thought about multiple times.

Please tell me I’m not alone. 🙂

It looks overwhelming when I read the list in its entirety, but I don’t feel overwhelmed. I am learning to find balance, because I simply have too many ideas, and there’s just not enough time in a day to do it all.

I’m OK with that … well, most days I am …

To God be the Glory!

Leave it all on the court

I have a confession to make: I like being comfortable. I am not one to naturally push myself to a place of being uncomfortable. If it means pain and sacrifice, I find it more difficult to put myself in a position to experience it. I am often satisfied with just getting by, being average, staying simple, and sometimes settling on mediocrity to maintain my comfort.

No pain, no pain. I like the sound of that. 🙂

You see, even when I was growing up, the only time I truly pushed myself out of my comfort zone was when someone else was encouraging, teaching, cheering, or driving me to do so. I often found it difficult to persevere and push my limits all on my own. I did have initiative to get things done, but often just at a level that enables me to check it off of my to-do list.

This was most evident when I played sports.

I grew up playing competitive soccer, basketball and fastpitch softball all year round. Ooooh how I loved it. I loved the challenge and competition of the practices and games. It was a time for me to learn something new (new skills, new plays, etc.) as well as be with my friends.

I thoroughly enjoyed the environment that comes with being on a team.

When I played in a game or at practice, I pushed myself to the limits. I loved exceling in what was asked or required of me, as a player. If my coach wanted us to run an extra set of lines, I forced myself to finish near the front of the pack, despite how exhausted I felt. I wasn’t fast, but I was smart and I worked hard. I also listened well and did what the coaches wanted me to do. I was a good little player. Not the best, but I held my own.

Since I am no longer in that type of environment with someone on the sidelines pushing me to go further and harder, I find I often take the lazy way out. It’s a very real struggle.

This tendency of mine goes beyond the physical realm of exercise. I can be mediocre with many things: homeschooling, cleaning, teaching, prayer, etc. I do just enough to get by in order to feel like I’m doing OK. Quite honestly, people think I do a lot more than I actually do. I mean, I do a lot of various things that fill my time, but I do them with juuuuust enough effort to be sufficient. Jack of all trades, master of none.

It’s hard to admit, but it’s true, my actions often reflect this.

In my heart, mind and intentions, I am not OK with mediocrity at all. I actually don’t like it and I get frustrated with myself when I don’t excel, do more, or complete whatever it is I am doing. Yet, the fruit is not evident in my intentions, the fruit is seen in my actions.

Not to sell myself short, there is definitely fruit in my life. I know I have impacted others’ lives and I continue to grow and mature personally, but I find I just do the basics. The bare minimum. Nothing spectacular. Nothing grand. Just enough to maintain.

I wish I naturally pushed myself to go the extra mile.

Alas, I do not readily have this quality. I need help. I need a nudge. I need to be challenged. I also need encouragement and accountability.

~~~~~~

I still remember back when I was a senior in high school, I was the starting point guard on the varsity basketball team. It was to be my year to shine. Unfortunately, I blew out my knee during the opening weekend jamboree. I was crushed. In an instant, my dreams had vanished.

Plan B. The doctor said I could postpone my ACL surgery if I 1) try to strengthen everything around my knee (to compensate for the weakness and injury), 2) wear a custom knee brace, and 3) do two hours of physical therapy every single day. I agreed to this. The hope was to get back to a place where I could play before the season was finished.

After about 6 weeks of intense strength training, I was ready to be evaluated … and hopefully approved to play.

My physical therapist needed to test my overall strength to see if my knee could handle the stress and impact. I distinctly remember a point during the assessment where I had to do as many quad lift repetitions as possible in a specified amount of time (i.e. 2 minutes). With my new custom brace on, I had to move fast and push my knee to its limits. In those final moments of the test, my therapist really got in my space and yelled, cheered, pushed, encouraged, and motivated me to drive even harder. “Go! Go! Go! GO! Push! Push! Push! PUSH!”

I’m not sure how, but I did exactly that.

When I thought I was doing enough to be sufficient and pass, he stepped in and motivated me to dig even deeper. A renewed sense of determination and strength welled up and out of me. It was not easy, nor was it comfortable, but, I exceled.

Ultimately, I was approved to play basketball again. 🙂

~~~~~~

I am someone who frequently needs pushing like this. Sure, I can get by with doing the basics, the bare minimum, and maintain mediocrity. But, if I am to excel and truly do my very best and make a big impact, I need some help. I am reminded of  THIS AMAZING CLIP from the movie, “Facing the Giants.” This is the kind of motivation I absolutely love so I can give my very best.

But, it’s not just in having a “coach” at my side, I have found a few other areas that help me excel beyond the bare minimum:

I need a routine.
I need structure.
I need support.
I need vision.

Routine:

Just as I had it in physical therapy and training: I need the consistency of a daily routine to maintain and strengthen what is weak. Daily diligence. If I become inconsistent (whether it’s exercise, prayer, eating habits, spending habits, etc.), it’s very hard for me to get back on the band wagon. I make excuses and settle for mediocrity. But, when I have a routine and stick with it, I flourish. Good daily habits pave the way for great eternal impact. It’s much easier to keep pressing forward when there is a rhythm and routine to my day and my life, in general. Personally, it helps me be better prepared, and ultimately, I’m stronger.

Structure:

After my knee injury, I wore a knee brace when playing ball. The purpose of it was to create a strong structure and framework for supporting the areas of weakness in my knee. An extra measure of reinforcement. Unfortunately, there was a moment during my very first practice back with the team, when the brace slipped out of place (too much lotion on my legs, ugh!) and didn’t do what it was designed to do. In an instant, I had reinjured my knee.

I was physically and emotionally devastated, once again.

Thinking about my daily life, in order to be able to excel and be strong in what I am doing, I, personally, need the structure and a framework to hold it all together. Firm. Stable. Secure. If that structure is removed or not properly in place (like a sliding knee brace), things can get messy and I simply cannot function as effectively. That “structure” can look and be different between people or activities. In my life, I recognize structure consists of having a plan, a schedule, and general order in my environment. Without these, I struggle. I can be a spontaneous person and a go-with-the-flow gal in less organized situations, but it does not come naturally and often throws me for a loop. I have a hard time finding my bearings when things are a bit chaotic and all over the place. However, when structure is in place, I find it easier to push past mediocrity and thrive.

Support:

Though I am a fairly independent person, I flourish when I have support around me. This particular support I speak of is regarding support from people. People who get me moving, even when I feel like I can’t go on. “Go! Go! Go! GO!” This support often comes in the form of an individual or a select few who are in my life. I exceed my normal capacity when someone I trust is by my side. I work harder, I play harder, I laugh harder, I serve harder. Hmm, I’m not sure what “serve harder” means, but, you get the idea. I just do better all-around. Even my attitude is better!

You may or may not have noticed, but the three main sports I played were team sports. I am not a solo runner nor a single player. Though I often go-it-alone in my day-to-day, I still love being with others. I enjoy having friends alongside me to “coach” me through, to teach me new skills, to challenge and encourage, and to push me beyond my preconceived limits. Friends to do life with as we sharpen each other, as iron sharpens iron.

Do I get exhausted and uncomfortable at times? Yes. Is it a place of vulnerability? Absolutely. But, when I am supported in the most beautiful ways by trustworthy people who hold me accountable and help me to press on, I make a bigger impact in what I do.

Vision:

When I hurt my knee, a new vision was birthed. If I wanted to play ball again before I graduated, then I needed to train. If … then. I needed to work hard, be disciplined, and never give up. My sights were set on that goal to play again.

When I am currently fighting mediocrity in my daily life, it is often helpful for me to take a step back and look at the big picture and recast the vision. I need to see beyond what is right in front of me, so I can persevere.

What I am aiming to accomplish?
How can I get there?
What do I need to do to keep pressing forward?
Is God leading us down this path?
No matter how hard it is, does this have a positive impact?
If I continue down this road, where will I/we be in 1 month, 6 months, 3 years, 10 years?
Do I need to change directions?
What is the big picture, the vision, the goal?

Please know, this doesn’t mean it all goes according to plan when a vision is cast. In fact, the only basketball game I played in during my senior year, was the very last game of the season. That was not part of the original vision, but that’s how the cookie crumbled this time. All of my hard work and investment was for one game. One. I relished every single second I was on that court and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

No regrets.

Though my senior year on the basketball team didn’t pan out as I had originally expected or hoped, what I did experience came from having a goal.

It’s hard to aim without seeing a target.

I can have an efficient routine, the strongest structure, and the most effective support system, but without a vision, a goal, a purpose … it will ultimately be all for not. The vision is what empowers and drives everything else. Without vision, I perish.

Ultimately, when the vision is cast, I am able to push forward by creating a daily routine, held together by a strong structure, being fully supported by those near and dear to me to spur me on to see that vision come to fruition.

If I am struggling in any capacity, usually one (or more) of these areas is lacking. I am constantly checking-in and re-evaluating to see what areas need improvement and/or change.

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In summary, yes, I naturally default to being comfortable, simple, and admittedly, a bit mediocre. But, I am continually learning I am made for so much more. It may be painful, uncomfortable, vulnerable, and take sacrifice at times, but the impact is so much greater when I don’t settle for “good enough.”

What areas have you recognized help you push harder and dig deeper? Maybe they are similar to mine, or perhaps, they are the exact opposite? haha! Whatever they may be, I encourage you to contemplate how you can improve those areas that need a bit of shoring up and strengthening. I know I had a few revelations myself as I wrote this post. 🙂

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It definitely feels backwards and counterintuitive, but when I am truly dying to myself and what I naturally want to do (be lazy!), I live more fully. Oh, how I want to live a full life! And, not more fully for my own gratification, but more fully in Christ and for the Glory of God.

To take it a step further, friends, God has already cast the ultimate vision, HE has shown us how to daily (routinely) follow Him, HE has structured an abundant life securely through His Word (the Bible), and HE has given us each other, as our support and encouragement.

This truly is the most excellent way.

So friends, I implore you to press on … with no regrets …

Leaving it all on the court.

To God be the Glory!

No posts on the weekends

As I’ve been writing, brainstorming, studying, planning, and writing some more, I’ve found I get a few blog posts ahead of myself. Apparently, I have A LOT to say, hahaha! I end up having the posts scheduled out several days in advance, instead of writing them the day of their being published.

In doing this, I recognized a pattern was emerging. I didn’t intend to have one, but I began to notice I would subconsciously set aside weekends to be post-free. In pondering why I was doing this, I settled on three primary reasons:

  1. I have a desire to pace myself in this world of blogging. By ignoring two days of the week, I don’t have as many days to fill with my posts. This may change over time, but for now, it’s perfect.
  2. I am learning to set personal boundaries in many areas of my life, including the use of my time (ie. No Facebook for 2017). I am setting blogging boundaries now, before I get carried away.
  3. I hope to encourage individuals and families to have true rest and/or family time over the weekends, with less distractions. I realize people aren’t waiting on pins and needles for my posts, haha, and I also know I don’t control what people choose to or not to do in their free time. That said, I didn’t (and don’t) want to be a distraction or hindrance in any way, shape, or form.

As a result, no posts will be published on Saturdays or Sundays. There’s no need to come looking for anything on those days, as nothing new will be added. Rest assured, my older posts will still be here and plenty of new posts will come during the weekdays. So, go have some fun, relax, and enjoy your time over the weekends, and I will do the same. 🙂

To God be the Glory!

The Greatness of Mordecai

A few months ago, I was reading through the book of Esther and noticed something quite interesting. Even though this book in the Bible was named after Queen Esther, another person was mentioned so frequently throughout the book, I wondered if it should’ve been named after him, instead. This man’s name was Mordecai.

Mordecai was Esther’s relative. He adopted Esther when she was a young orphan. He was willing, he made himself available, was moved with compassion, felt the responsibility, and he ultimately was willing to love and care for Esther. He raised her as his own daughter (2:7). This alone, is incredible. But, it doesn’t stop there.

Mordecai was great.

He was a man who had an incredible amount of influence, conviction, wisdom, counsel, discernment and courage throughout the entire book. His impact in and through Esther was incredible. In thinking about it, I’m not sure the outcome of the events in the book would’ve been the same, had it not been for his presence in Esther’s life.

  • He counseled Esther to not reveal her nationality and family background when she went into the King’s palace (2:10).
  • He watched over her while she was in the palace, protective of his daughter (2:11).
  • He exposed and thwarted a plot to kill the King (2:19-23).
  • In boldness and with courage, he defied the King’s edict and did not bow down to Haman (3:1-4).
  • His loyalty to his people was easily demonstrated when he tore his clothes when he heard about the King’s edict to destroy the Jews (4:1).
  • He urged Queen Esther to be bold and go before the King in order to save the Jews, which ultimately changed everything (4:8,13-14).
  • He fasted and prayed for Esther as she prepared to go before the King (4:15-17).
  • He was honored before the people for his saving the King (6:10-11).
  • He provided a way (through a new edict) for the Jews to be empowered and saved, without breaking the King’s previous edict (8:3-14 … verse 9 specifically says, “Mordecai’s orders”)
  • He used his power and authority to do good (10:3).

In the final verses in the book of Esther (10:1-3), Esther is surprisingly not mentioned. Though the book is named after her, she is not in the conclusion of the story. But, do you know who is? Yup, you guessed it, Mordecai.

King Xerxes imposed tribute throughout the empire, to its distant shores.  And all his acts of power and might, together with a full account of the greatness of Mordecai, whom the king had promoted, are they not written in the book of the annals of the kings of Media and Persia? Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.

The Greatness of Mordecai.

Second in rank.

Preeminent among the Jews.

Held in high esteem.

Mordecai “worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.”

His impact was of great magnitude, even when he was often behind-the-scenes.

Yes, Esther was an important and vital person in an amazing place to do great things, but Mordecai, he was her backbone. You might say he was the key component for the protection and good of the Jews. Had he not been there, would Esther have been so bold? Would she have even been put in this place of power … “for such a time as this?” He emboldened her, he protected her, he spurred her on, he gave her wise counsel, he helped her in her weakness, he exposed darkness in the palace, he spoke life and courage, he was a brilliant leader to her and to his people. And above all, he always sought to honor God.

Many say that “behind every great man, is a great woman.” I might change that slightly to say, “behind every great leader [Esther], is a great counsellor and encourager [Mordecai].”

Are you someone’s Mordecai? Do you support, encourage and give counsel to someone else or to others? Do you make a difference even when standing behind or beside a great leader? Unseen, but ever-present. Never question the significance and impact of your presence. You are vital.

And/Or …

Is someone else your Mordecai? Are you in a place of leadership, but are fully supported, emboldened and encouraged by someone else? Maybe others don’t realize it’s not just you, but you have an incredible support system behind you? Who is your Mordecai? How can you express gratitude to/for that person who is your constant encouragement and help?

I imagine all of us are in both situations at times. Supporting and being supported. Both are important. Both are valuable. Both are needed.

Let us be bold in our leadership and in our encouragement. Our influence on those around us is far greater than we might realize. There is greatness in it.

Embrace it, and make a difference … for such a time as this.

To God be the Glory!

“To God be the Glory!”

You may (or may not?) have noticed I end most of my blog posts with, “To God be the Glory!” I do this very intentionally for two primary reasons: 1) it’s a way for me to publicly praise Him, and 2) I always want to remember, nay, I always need to remember Who gets the glory here.

I don’t know about you, but it’s easy for me to want the attention and accolades. But friends, God is the One. He deserves and is worthy of all the glory, all the honor, all the accolades … He is …

He is orchestrating
He is leading
He is forgiving
He is loving
He is protecting
He is providing
He is gracious
He is merciful
He is mighty
He is strong
He is hope
He is peace
He is great
He is joy
He is unchanging
He is all-knowing
He is life-giving
He is creating
He is speaking
He is listening
He is holding
He is carrying
He is defending
He is right
He is just
He is truth
He is alpha (the beginning)
He is omega (the end)
He is eternal
He is Father
He is Son
He is Holy Spirit

It is He and He alone …

To God be the Glory!

Am I cheating?

Friends, by now, you probably know I am going social media free for all of 2017. It’s been brought to my attention, that blogging is a form of social media. So, am I cheating? Am I not really going social media free?

It’s a good question to ponder and answer.

In short, blogging is indeed a form of social media. It’s true. According to Wikipedia, social media is using “computer-mediated technologies that allow the creating and sharing of information, ideas, career interest and other forms of expression via virtual communities and networks.”

That’s what I am doing here. I’m sharing my information and ideas through this virtual community of blogs.

So, why I am allowing myself to pick and choose what social media I use and what I don’t use?

It all boils down to time.

With Instagram, Facebook and Periscope, I can easily get sucked in and participate for hours at a time, during the day, on my phone. Time is gone, with very little to show for it, and my family is set aside in the process. Not good.

Blogging has a different … feel.

It’s all done on the computer, not my phone, so it’s not as easy to get sucked into it wherever I am at the time. The computer also isn’t on as much during the day, and when it is, the kids are typically using it for schoolwork, or I’m catching up on emails. Thus, I am not as tempted to be on it because it’s simply not as available or convenient.

Most of my blogging is also done early in the morning (it’s 5:46am as I type this), or late in the evening when everyone is sleeping. I tend to think more clearly when it’s quiet. So, most of my thinking, writing and sharing is done when it least impacts the family and when I can easily process my thoughts.

This is not to say I never do any blogging during the day, it’s just not as common. I’m intentionally freeing myself from the constant need to be online. In this scenario, it’s the spirit of the law, rather than the letter of the law. The essence of why I’m banning some and permitting others is based on how well I know what I can and cannot handle. Boundaries. I’ve cut what I needed to cut in social media, and am deliberately pursuing what I love in its place, which is writing (even though it’s being done through a social media-type platform, oh the irony).

Overall, I find I am a healthier person in processing my thoughts in written form, and my family isn’t suffering from my time on the blog. In fact, one of the most beautiful gifts from this journey so far (3 weeks into it), is that my kids are asking to read my posts. They ask when a new one is up and if they can read it. Sometimes we talk about the posts, sometimes we don’t. But, I love that they are interested in reading my thoughts. I think they enjoy seeing a different side of their Momma. It’s true, their Momma has dreams, ideas and passions, just like anyone else! 🙂

So yes, blogging is a form of social media. But, I’m OK with that.

To God be the Glory!

Can or Called?

In my goal of purchasing “no more books” for this year, I’m picking up and reading books I already own. It’s fun to pursue and finish a book I’ve been set on reading for some time.

As I write this, I just finished a beautiful little book titled, “Riley Unlikely” by Riley Banks-Snyder. As the back of the cover explains, “This is the story of how God took a thirteen-year-old girl and transformed her into a nineteen-year-old missionary. It’s the story of how he can take seemingly mismatched parts and fit them together brilliantly. It’s the story of how he can change our lives and dramatically shift our dreams. All this time, he has been tailor-making me for Kenya’s kids, and them for me” a perfect match from an unlikely story.”

As someone who has always longed to go to Africa, this book was a true delight for me to read. Riley’s heart to provide for practical needs paired with her heart to love and care for the children and orphans is simply beautiful. It hits so close to home. I have always been drawn to Africa, even from a young age. The brilliant colors, simplistic living, hard work, pure joy and contentment, full trust in God amidst the struggle, and the beautiful people there … yes, these are just a few of the reasons why I love Africa (even though I’ve only loved it from half way around the world).

There was one little paragraph in the book that seemed to jump off of the page as I read it. I have since read it over and over and over again,

When you’re serving just because you can, the work is useful and beneficial and good. But you’ll stay committed to it only as long as it stays convenient. By contrast, when you’re serving in a capacity where you feel called, you’ll move heaven and earth if you have to, to see it through.

So. Good.

Can or Called?

As I seek the Lord for what He has planned for my life (however great or small the journey), I believe this to be a good and helpful distinction to make. Am I doing ____ because I can, or because I’m called? It doesn’t have be grand doings, like going to Africa, but can be a simple way of serving, loving or helping others.

Doing things because we can or because we’re called, BOTH are beneficial and good, but one will compel us to keep pressing forward, despite the circumstances. As the author says, “you’ll move heaven and earth if you have to, to see it through.”

Does this bring to mind anything you are doing in your life because you can or because you’re called?

Perhaps you are serving locally, starting a new business or ministry, teaching your children at home, leading worship, caring for the orphans (maybe in foster care), going back to or continuing to work, furthering your education, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, writing books (or blogs!), serving your local government, traveling to foreign lands, or counseling others who are struggling? They may not always be fun at every turn, but we will likely feel compelled to and called to do this good work.

When passion wavers, our calling catapults us forward to see it through.

I experience this every year (or day!) in our homeschooling journey. I feel Papa and I are called to teach, train up and disciple our children at home. However, I struggle with various aspects of the process. Even after 10 years of homeschooling, I often struggle with feeling inadequate, like I’m failing, like I don’t know what I’m doing, and like I’m suffocating under the pressures of doing it right. Despite this personal battle within me, I continue to learn, plan, and teach our children. There is much joy experienced and many memories are created amidst the daily routines of our schooling. I know it’s what we are, what I am, called to do.

It is in this calling, that I do not give up.

I press on.

I stay up late at night and wake up early in the morning to do what needs to be done.

I sacrifice.

I move heaven and earth.

I will see it through.

Friends, whatever you may be facing, whatever decisions you need to make, whatever you are currently experiencing, whatever journey lies before you, rest assured, He who called you, is faithful.

You may still be discovering what God is leading or calling you to do, and that’s part of the journey, too! Be patient. Trust. It will likely come and unfold before you when you least expect it. Keep watching. Read His Word. Pray. Wait for His timing. Move when He moves. Follow where He leads.

It’s an exciting and powerful time when shifting from doing things because you can, to do things because you are called.

Wherever you are in the journey, I encourage you to trust Him in it.

To God be the Glory!