Author: Momma

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I have not forgotten about you

Well hello there, friends and family! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Please don’t worry, I have not forgotten about you. Not for a moment. In fact, I would venture to guess I’ve thought about writing you every day for the last 6 months. I have often wanted to share what I’ve been thinking, dreaming, experiencing, learning, and enjoying. Yet, in my day-to-day happenings, I just couldn’t seem to pull together a new post to share with you. Part of this is due to the fact that I didn’t know where or when to start after being absent for so long. I have/had so much to say, but continued to put it off as I looked for a better time to write.

I have joked with a friend how we can have ideas to start something, only to find ourselves with these ideas on a Tuesday or a Wednesday. So we wait. We wait until Monday to start something new, as Monday is the beginning of the week. Or, we wait until the beginning of a new month or a new season. And, most definitely wait for the beginning of a new year.

Well, guess what?! The time is now.

January 1st (yesterday) was the beginnings of all beginnings. A new year, a new month, a new week, a new day … and all beginning on a Monday! Perfect!

So, here I am. I’m ready to jump back into the saddle, er, uh, jump back online. Ready to write. Ready to share. Ready to start anew. Because, quite frankly, a new year is often the best time to start over and try again.

Thank you for not giving up on me.
Thank you for reaching out and asking how I’m doing.
Thank you for sharing that you’ve enjoyed my posts and are wondering if I’m going to continue writing.
Thank you for continuing to support me in my endeavor to share with you.

I’m back.

To God be the Glory! Great things He has done in 2017 and will continue to do in 2018!

 

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IN their distress

As I was reading this week in the book of James, I read a familiar passage that I often think about and also share with others. But, for whatever reason, three distinct words jumped out at me as a read them.

… in their distress …

To give a little bit of the context, James discusses much about trials, persevering, listening and doing the Word, actions, taming the tongue, and so much more. But, right there at the end of chapter 1, there is a verse (27) that is well known to many, especially those who have foster or adoptive children.

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Did you catch that? We look after and care for the widows and the orphans in their distress. 

As I often do, I turned to my trusty 1828 Webster’s Dictionary to look up the meaning of the word “distress.”

Extreme pain; anguish of body or mind; as, to suffer great distress from the gout, or from the loss of near friends.

Affliction; calamity; misery.

As I perused the various forms of distress (distressed, distressing, etc.), several words were often repeated in the definitions: suffering, anguish, misery/miserable and affliction. Ultimately, the word used over and over and over again throughout the definitions was the word PAIN.

Look after the orphans and the widows in their distress … in their PAIN.

When I know someone is in pain – physically, emotionally, mentally or otherwise – I respond differently. I am more sensitive. I am more compassionate. I am more patient.

I got to thinking about this, specifically with our foster and adoptive children in mind. Our children from hard places sometimes have the ugliest behaviors of all. They express much of their pain through their words and their actions.

Reading this verse in James that was written almost 2,000 years ago, I was greatly encouraged. Not because looking after and caring for orphans is easy, but because it’s so clear that we are to do it in their distress and pain. It’s messy. It’s hurtful. It’s wounding. We don’t care for them when all is rosey and healed. No, we do so when they are at their greatest need and in their greatest pain. IN their distress. Smack dab in the middle of it.

I loved being reminded of this as our new foster placement (she’s 7 yrs old) isn’t always the easiest. She’s incredibly fun and sweet and wants so desperately to be loved, but she’s also very guarded and hurt and scared.

Now. Now is the time we care for her. Not when it’s easy, clean and a walk-in-the-park, but when it’s hard, messy and a huge mountain to climb. There will be many tears, grunts, groans, yelling, pain, agony, misery, tantrums, questions, and battles to face.

The pain is real.

But, it is in those precious moments of catching her eye and smiling at her with the love that wells up within me for her, that I see hope settle near. Her shoulders relax, she makes eye contact, she smiles shyly and draws closer for a hug, seeking assurance of our love for her.

In her pain, she is loved.

All children long to be loved. Some just don’t always know how to receive it very well; some fight tooth and nail so they won’t be hurt yet again; some are so broken they don’t believe anyone would ever want them. But, all children long and desire to be loved.

This is what we do.

In their distress, we care for them.

In their distress, we look after them.

In their distress, we comfort them and keep them safe.

In their distress, we love them.

If you find yourself looking after and caring for the widows and orphans around you, take heart! The good and hard, “pure and faultless” work that you are doing is pleasing and acceptable to God our Father.

To Him be all the Glory!!

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Shopping vs. Investing

Our family is in a current state of transition.

We aren’t moving, we aren’t switching jobs, and nothing is changing in our current family structure. What is changing is that we are transitioning to a new home church. We have been going to the same great church for almost 8 years, but feel it is time for a change (the reasons for this are not important for this post). We do not take this transition lightly. It is not an easy one with 9 people in the family, but, this is where we are right now. Change awaits us around the corner.

The hard part is knowing where, when or how to transition.

We have let our pastors know and they have expressed to us their appreciation for our years with them. They continue to pray for us and we pray for them. We do not leave broken, hard-hearted or bitter. We leave with blessing.

With closing the (proverbial) door, we are now in search of a new door to walk through, a new place to reside and settle.

Besides searching for a solid, biblically-based church, what other key factors do we take into account when looking for a home church?

There are many things to prayerfully consider, of course, but one part of the process keeps coming to my mind … our approach. Are we going into this transition as “church shoppers” or “church investors?”

I have heard over the years how fellow believers will say they are “church shopping.” It’s almost as if we, as Christians, “try on” the various churches to see which one fits the best. As I process this approach more and more, it definitely feels and leans toward a consumer mindset. Which, unfortunately, isn’t too unlike our culture at large.

What will the church give ME?
What does it provide for ME?
Will it meet MY needs?
Am I comfortable in it?
If I “buy” into this one or that one, what will I get in return?

I can’t help but wonder if we should switch terms and perspectives. Perhaps, we should move forward with a different mindset, an investing and giving mindset.

To go with President Kennedy’s famous lines from his inaugural address in 1961,

Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country.

What a great line as we can also apply it to God’s Church. If I may take the liberty to modify the wording ever-so-slightly,

Ask not what your church can do for you, ask what you can do for your church.

If we are in the place of changing churches, are we approaching this decision as shoppers or investors? Do we focus on what we can get out of it or what we can give into it? Or, what we take away for personal gain or add to for God’s Kingdom?

What a different frame of mind!

Consuming vs. Giving.
Being served vs. Serving.

Now, I do realize with “investing” there is a cost, just as there is with “shopping” … but it’s with a different attitude, heart, and outcome. From my view, one approach leans towards meeting one’s personal needs, while the other leans toward meeting others’ needs. One leans toward thinking about the here and now, the temporary, while the other leans toward having the long term in mind, the eternal.

All this to say, it’s been interesting to think about how to approach this season of transition with our family. There is much to consider and weigh as we look for a new church to call “home” … and it’s a journey that will be covered in much prayer.

Lord, give us eyes to see where and how we can INVEST in Your Church, Your Bride. And definitely, always and forever, for YOUR GLORY!

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Fun Fact Friday – June 30, 2017

It’s Fun Fact Friday! Here’s a simple chance to know a little more about me …

  1. Tonight, our family is going to run the local roller skating rink. We play “Four Corners,” do the “Hokey-Pokey,” and give out prizes to various winners. Needless to say, it’s a fun (and exhausting) night!
  2. Bro is back from his 2 week missions trip and we are thrilled to have him home! We noticed we didn’t laugh as much without his humor in the house. We love having him with us again!
  3. Four out of our seven kids are fighting sicknesses. We just can’t seem to shake this virus (it’s been almost 2 weeks)! Though it’s often a struggle, I do appreciate the opportunity to stay at home more than usual.
  4. I am teaching 2 classes in our local homeschool co-op this year:
    • Wonders of the World: one semester to 5/6 graders and one semester to 7/8 graders.
    • Writing/Literature/Poetry class to 5/6 graders all school year.
  5. I do not like the smell of lavender. It seems to be a scent that people either truly love or do not like at all. I am in the latter group.
  6. We run our A/C all day long, all year long. We do shut it off at night, though.
  7. I haven’t been on FB for almost 6 solid months. I do not miss it … at all. I should do another update to share the pros and cons (so far) with being “social media free” this year. In short, it’s been amazing!
  8. I have a fear of my (or anyone’s!) joints hyper-extending and snapping. The crazy bendable people you see at the circus or various acrobatic shows make me cringe, due to this fear. I shiver at the thought of them breaking their arms/legs in half. So gross!
  9. Every 3 months, we have to change out the “roach baits” in our house. Gotta keep those nasty critters away!!
  10. I love singing, but usually only sing when I’m with my family or in a group setting. Karaoke is NOT for me. Way too much pressure.

Do you identify with any of these? Or, do you have a fun fact you’d like to share about yourself? Feel free to comment below. 🙂

To God be the Glory! He makes each one of us unique and different.

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What makes for a GOOD day

I’ve had some pretty tough days lately. The kids have been at each other, emotions have run high, routines are fluctuating a bit, and we’ve had some nasty Summer colds thrown in the mix. Needless to say, we’ve had an influx of whining, arguing, exhaustion, and overall crankiness.

One day, in particular, I may or may not have texted “I quit” … multiple times. Some days, I’m just done. Being a mom is HARD. Good and amazing, but hard.

This got me thinking about a conversation I had a while back with a dear friend. She asked me what constitutes a “good day” … from my perspective.

Without hesitation, I told her a “good day” is one where I know I have been a good wife, mother and friend. The kids could be at odds, the house a wreck, the cupboards short on food … but if I respond and react to the people in my life with gentleness, kindness, patience, grace and love … I feel like it’s been a good day. I can hold my head up high.

Please hear me, I do not enjoy the fighting, having a messy home, or experiencing any lack, but I realize this is part of being a mom, a part of life. It comes with the territory. I don’t think I have ever experienced a perfect day, one without hardship. The reality of being a wife, a mother, and a friend isn’t always easy or smooth.

It is in these moments that I must choose.

Just as I often tell my kids, we cannot control what others do or say, we can only control ourselves. So, it is the same with my own choices.

At the end of the day, I can gage whether it has been a good or bad one based on how I thought, spoke and responded/reacted to the people in my life. Did I seek to honor the Lord and honor others? Or, did I look to only please myself?

Ultimately, I know it was a good day if/when …

  • I had time in God’s Word at the start of my day (it truly does impact the rest of the day!!)
  • compassion oozed from my being to minister to my hurt or sick husband, children or friends.
  • my patience didn’t wane even when others around me pushed all of my buttons.
  • grace abounded.
  • forgiveness was given freely.
  • I died to self and served wholeheartedly.
  • discipline was done for the purpose of teaching, correcting and training in righteousness; not out of spite, malice or vengeance.
  • my voice remained steadfast and didn’t spike in bursts of anger or frustration.
  • I did not whine or complain.
  • I looked into the eyes of those I love and saw them for who they are, not for what they did or did not do.
  • I smiled and laughed often.
  • I walked in integrity, especially when no one else was listening or looking.

I may not experience ALL of these EVERY day, but if I hit many of them, I can tell a difference in my overall view of the day.

As much I would love to control everything and everyone around me, I know I cannot. This leaves me coming back to myself. I have choices to make. My greatest desire is to be able to stand before the Lord and know I have done my very best. I know it won’t be perfect. I know I will fall short daily. I know it will be hard. But, if I know in my heart of hearts I have left it all on the court, then, I feel it’s been a “good day.”

It is in these moments when I feel I have made a difference, I have made an impact in the lives around me. Hopefully, prayerfully, they see Jesus in and through me, as HE is the source of all that is good in me.

Circumstances do not define my days, good or bad; no, it is my response and reaction to those circumstances that draw the distinction.  

I confess, there are many days where I check out and try to just get through it. I often “quit” (though, not really). It is during these challenging moments when I more earnestly seek His face. Then, when tomorrow comes, I start anew. His mercies are, indeed, new every morning. A fresh start with new choices to be made.

Grace. It truly is a gift.

Yes, yes, let’s make it a good day today. Let’s walk with integrity, seasoned with patience and self-control, and saturated in truth and love …

To God be the Glory!

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Fun Fact Friday – June 23, 2017

Fun Fact Friday … the day of the week when I get to share you some random tidbits about my life:

  1. I do not like Tobasco sauce. At all.
  2. Steamed broccoli is one of my very favorite veggies to eat.
  3. I used to hate the taste of coffee, loved the smell, but hated the flavor. But now … I’m a fan. Those first few sips in the morning are the very best. I actually don’t need coffee to wake me up, I’m not grumpy if I don’t get it, but I do enjoy the taste.
  4. If I wear a t-shirt, I always have a tank top underneath. I’m a layerer (is that even a word?). I’m not a single shirt wearer, despite how hot it is outside.
  5. Bro (16) has been gone for almost 2 weeks on a missions trip. It’s the longest he’s ever been away from us during a single stretch. I miss him. Being a mom of kids who are spreading their wings to fly, can be so freeing, yet so hard. I love my little birds. Can’t they live in the nest forever with me? Nah. Who am I kidding? I am so excited to see them FLY!!
  6. Every day, I look around our house and try to find something I can throw away, donate, or sell. Clutter and excess drives me bonkers and also raises my stress levels (note: this is for in my house, other peoples’ houses are just fine).
  7. I recently purchased and received some more painting supplies (yay Amazon!) with some of my birthday money … so now I can paint some more pictures! I’m so excited!!
  8. When I commit to something, I’m typically all in. This means, I am learning to push the “pause” button before making that commitment. Sometimes, I get in over my head and regret saying “yes” to so many things. I am learning the power of “no!” I just can’t do it ALL, which is a bummer, but it’s also reality.
  9. All clothes, sheets, and towels in our house get tumble dried in our dryer, EXCEPT Papa and my clothes. I hang all of those to dry so they aren’t as likely to shrink, wear down, or fade.
  10. Growing up, I was an observer in a group setting. I often watched and observed others when I was with family, friends, my sports teams, or at youth group. I’m not the life of the party, and I’m OK with that. I simply enjoy watching other people have fun! I am still that way. I do participate in a group setting, but I often prefer to be on the outer skirts, watching, listening, and talking one-on-one with others who also are also more comfortable on the sidelines.
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Failure

Failure.

What a yucky feeling word. It’s not one I enjoy thinking about, dwelling on, or experiencing. Yet, we all experience this feeling of failure from time-to-time.

I was recently listening to a podcast as they talked about goals (for the New Year, family, work, health, etc.) and re-evaluating them on occasion. In short, it’s good to figure out what’s working, what doesn’t, adjust as needed, and keep moving forward toward your goal.

Among the many things they discussed during the episode, failure was one of them. One comment, in particular, jumped right through my earbuds and nailed me in my heart and mind. I needed to hear it.

“Labeling something as a ‘failure’ indicates your decision to stay in that space, rather than continuing to learn from it, take it, and move forward.”

-Kelsey Van Kirk, The Purposeful Home Podcast, episode #014.

I found this thought or idea very interesting to ponder. Do I “stay in that space” of failure or do I learn from it and move forward? What do I tend to label as a “failure” in my life? Do I experience shame and condemnation (self or external)? Do I take each experience for what it is, learn from it, and continue on … or camp in my own self-doubt, pity, and wallow in suffering? Am I a “failure?”

It got me thinking even more …

Is “failure” even a Biblical concept? Does it address this idea, or have we brought it into our culture as a “normal” way of thinking and feeling?

Interestingly, when I searched for “failure” at BibleGateway.com, I found very little. There were a few verses about “fail,” but they had to do more with the heart and flesh failing … as well as how the Lord will not “fail” us. I never found anything that resembled being a failure. If you find verses that say otherwise, please do let me know. I welcome correction and accountability!

The Bible has plenty to say about falling short of God’s glory, but this has more to do with sin, not simply making mistakes or “failing.” From my perspective, there’s a difference. Sin is what separates us from the Lord (and dare I say, from others). But, mistakes are not sin.

If I drop a bowl of cereal on the floor, that’s a mistake or an accident, not a sin.
If I lie to my friend, that’s not a mistake, that’s a sin.

Regardless of which one we identify with more, do either of them truly make us “failures?”

Taz (8) will often try to do a new trick on his skateboard or attempt a fancy Lego contraption, and when it doesn’t go according to plan, he’ll emphatically declare, “FAIL!” This idea of failure is in our every day language. We’ve watched those video clips and seen those memes that have the big bold letters FAIL across the screen. It’s everywhere! We need to change the way we talk and think and ultimately, what we believe.

It seems like I have lived far too long, beating myself up and feeling like a failure about various things (especially as a homeschooling momma). This is not how God intended it! I may fall short, sin, and make mistakes, but, God’s grace and forgiveness covers me. I am not a failure. I must change my thinking and declare TRUTH. I am redeemed, restored, and forgiven! To walk in the mindset of being a failure is the opposite of what Jesus came to do. He came to give us hope, salvation, life and life abundantly. We have VICTORY in Him!

I’m a word person, so out of curiosity, I looked up some synonyms and antonyms for “failure.”

List #1:

  • bankruptcy
  • breakdown
  • collapse
  • decline
  • defeat
  • deficiency
  • deterioration
  • failing
  • loss
  • misstep

List #2:

  • betterment
  • improvement
  • increase
  • rise
  • success
  • win
  • accomplishment
  • benefit
  • blessing
  • continuation
  • enough
  • plenty
  • triumph
  • achievement
  • achiever
  • attainment
  • earnings
  • gain
  • merit

Can you guess which list is which? Which is similar to and which is the opposite of “failure?” Which list do you identify with most?

If you identity with feeling like a failure, please don’t let this post make you feel like a failure for feeling like a failure. It’s too easy to follow that rabbit hole and spiral down even further into the pit of despair. It’s time to come out into the light!

I am not a “prosperity” message type of a gal, but I do hope to be one who speaks truth and life. Friends, if you are struggling with feeling like (or believing) you are a failure, or if you are LIVING in that camp or mindset, please remember what is TRUE. The truth – you are NOT a failure … you are forgiven, loved, redeemed, and valuable! God is not a failure, and He did not fail in creating you. We may stumble and fall, from time-to-time, but the Lord is right there to hold, help and carry us. We can learn from our experiences and move forward. Let’s not camp in our imperfections, but let’s take residence in His perfection.

Our weaknesses vs. His strengths.

Our sin vs. His forgiveness.

Our “failures” vs. His successes.

Our plan vs. His plan.

Our lack vs. His abundance.

Our falling short vs. His victory.

Where do you choose to invest your thoughts, energy, and identity? In yourself or in Him? Your thoughts about you or His thoughts about you?

You have the freedom to choose.

To God be the Glory!

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Sometimes when you say “no,” the door opens wide to say “yes”

One year ago, on June 18th, 2016, I sent an email to our Pastors at church. It was not a typical email about catching up, asking for prayer, or sharing a testimony. This one carried a bit of extra weight to it. At the time, it also carried with it the unknown.

In short, I let them know that after 7 (or so) years of leading and/or serving in the Hospitality ministry at church, I needed to step down. I couldn’t fully explain “why” … but just that I knew I had to do it. It was a very difficult and emotional email for me to write.

Here are a couple of small portions from that email:

There’s a sense that I need to prepare for something to come, so I should get ready for that now.  Almost as if I need to say “no” to the good things (church hospitality) so I can say “yes” to the best things (unknown at this point).  I can’t explain it really, but I feel a time of preparation is at hand and I need to be cleared, prepared, and available for whatever is to come in the coming months (or even year/s?).

I love hospitality and everything involved with it.  It’s my heart.  There’s just a nudging I can’t seem to ignore to step back from it for this next season (starting in Sept).

Our pastors responded beautifully with affirming and encouraging words. They both expressed gratitude for not only what I’ve done but who I am. Most importantly, they let me know they would be praying for me (and our family) and for the Lord to make the way clear for the future.

Unbeknownst to all of us, we did not have to wait long for the answers to come.

Just TWO days after saying “no,” the opportunity came to say “yes.”

On June 20th, 2016, Papa and I received a call from our local DHS office. They had a precious little 3 yr old girl with high medical needs (w/spina bifida) who needed long term placing. The current foster home was just a temporary emergency placement, so they needed to find a more permanent home for her to reside.

I couldn’t believe the timing!

Sometimes when you say “no,” the door swings wide open to immediately say “yes!”

That is exactly what we did. We said “yes.”

By the end of June, we welcomed sweet Munchkin into our home.

We didn’t know it at the time, but that very first and very-hard-to-say “no” paved the way for our lives to be forever changed. There would be many more yeses to come.

Would you be willing to have Munchkin in your home? YES!
Do you think you can handle her special needs? YES!
Would you like to go on the local radio program and share about your foster care journey (June 2016)? YES!
Can you and Papa share your foster care journey at church (July 2016)? YES!
I’ve always been curious about foster care, can I sit down and have coffee with you and have you tell me about foster care? YES!
Do you love Munchkin? YES!
Would you be willing to adopt Munchkin? YES! YES! YES!
Would you be available to adopt Munchkin in November of 2017? ABSOLUTELY YES!
Would you be willing to welcome in another precious 6 yr old little girl (April 2016)? YES!
Are you willing to work with the public schools (new territory for this homeschooling momma)? YES!

By saying “no” to something I absolutely loved to do (hospitality at church), I became open, available, and willing to say “yes” to an even better and more personal form of hospitality! In this case, we said “yes” to one of the most beautiful and precious little girls I have ever known and loved. I truly am not sure we could have said “yes” to her situation had I still been committed to the many responsibilities I had at church. Possible? Yes. But, it would have been very difficult to accomplish. God knew, in His infinite wisdom, that I needed to know without a shadow of a doubt that His Hand was in this. The timing was far too perfect to be a “coincidence.” Indeed, His Hand was and is ever-present, holding, and guiding us.

We may not always know or understand the whys behind the whats, but in time, we just might catch little and amazing glimpses of His Sovereignty. He truly is so very good.

Perhaps you find yourself at a crossroads, similar to mine. You may feel a nudge, to make a shift, to set a boundary, to say “no,” to start something new with a “yes,” to make a change of some kind, or possibly to just stay the course. No matter what it is, you are unsure of what is to come. The future is unknown.

Closing a chapter to be available to start a new one can be a scary and emotional process. It’s difficult to imagine anything other than what we already know and feel comfortable doing. Maybe you are struggling with taking the plunge, just as I did. It’s hard to not feel like we’re letting people down, disappointing others, or making a wrong decision. I know this feeling firsthand. It can be paralyzing.

Let me encourage you, friend.

Saying “no” can actually be one of the most amazing opportunities. Not because you are saying “no,” but because you are making yourself available to say “yes” to what the Lord has planned. He will lead, even when we cannot see what lies ahead. Do not be afraid, friend. Do not be discouraged. Be bold. Step out. Step away. Step forward.

The Lord will lead you into the unknown.

He is trustworthy.

He is faithful.

He truly is the very best YES of all.

To God be the Glory!

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Fun Fact Friday – June 16, 2017

To keep things light and to not worry about posting “something profound,” I give you a few fun facts about my life:

  1. I am naturally a procrastinator. I often (but not always) do my best work when under pressure. Perhaps having a deadline motivates me to focus better and longer?
  2. We are going to be in a homeschool co-op this year with 15 other families. We love this group and have been part of it for about 6 or 7 years now! I can’t imagine homeschooling without these amazing people in our lives.
  3. The kids and I spent many hours this week sorting our Legos by color. Yup, by color. In the past, I never initiated this idea as I knew I’d likely get frustrated if the kids mixed the colors (similar to mixing Play-doh colors, you just don’t do it!). But, since they thought of doing this on their own, it just might work for a long while?! So, we all jumped right in to accomplish the huge task. Can I just say, “wow, we have A LOT of Legos!”
  4. For each of our foster children, I periodically send a very detailed “update” to the Caseworker, Guardian Ad Litem (GAL), and anyone else (like a therapist) who might find an update valuable. I include how the child is doing physically, emotionally, mentally, with visits, in school, at home, with friends, etc. These updates (emailed about once a month) have proven to be quite valuable in keeping everyone on the same page. Open. Honest. Always communicating. Oh, and since I’m not one to be few in words, my updates are always quite extensive. I sometimes even advise them to get comfy and grab a cup of coffee or hot tea before they begin reading my mini novels. haha!
  5. I prefer the second half of the rainbow colors over the first. I prefer greens, blues, and purples over reds, oranges and yellows.
  6. I love doing this crazy life with Papa.
  7. Because we live in a fairly transient location, it’s quite common for me to ask someone how long they plan to live here when I first meet them. Part of the reason for this question is to gage whether or not I have the time and energy to invest in developing a friendship with this new person (time is precious!). It probably sounds cold and snobbish, but it is not meant to be that way. I’ve simply learned to protect my heart from being broken again and again with saying “goodbye” when dear friends move away from me. And, quite frankly, if I do invest in them knowing they will move away soon, I go into the friendship with eyes wide open, prepared and ready.
  8. I have never had a root-canal. Yay!
  9. I cannot stand the cartoons “Arthur” and “Caillou.” I don’t like the attitudes of the characters on Arthur and I detest the whiney voice of Caillou’s character. My kids are forbidden to watch either one (but they don’t really ask or know about them, especially since they’re older and aren’t interested, so it doesn’t really matter).
  10. I had a belly-button ring when I was 20 or 21 … and promptly took it out about year later when I became pregnant with our firstborn, Bro.
  11. I love heavy blankets.

I’ll stop there …

Do you have a fun fact about yourself that you’d like to share with me?!

To God be the Glory!

by

Something profound

It’s interesting, as I think about the many things I want to share on this blog, I find I am constantly searching for something profound to say. I want it to be life-altering, deeply impacting, and pretty much amazing all-of-the-time. Sheesh, no pressure, right?! HA!

This is partly why I have not been writing on a regular basis over the past few weeks. I want my words to have meaning and significance. I value your time and want to make it worthwhile for you to come read what I have to say and share. I don’t want to post just anything, but I find that I’m just not posting anything at all.

Fear, once again, holds me back. Sigh.

I miss writing. It’s an amazing outlet for the constant thoughts and ideas that run through my head 24/7. I wake up in the middle of the night with ideas, but often lack the courage, time, and discipline to get it all out of my head.

Maybe I need to throw caution into the wind and simply write. It may or may not be profound or significant, but it will be me.

So, maybe that’s what I will try to do: just keep writing. No schedule. No grand expectations. No waiting for it all to be perfect timing to write. I’ll simply write because I absolutely adore the process. That sounds “perfect” to me.

Hmmmm … I wonder what else I hold back from doing because I want it to be perfect, significant or profound? I truly am pondering this as I type these words. I love to do various activities, but I often opt not to do them for fear of falling short or having them not be important or impacting in any way to others. What else do I neglect, primarily because of some sort of fear that is in me? I wrote a quick short list of some things that quickly came to mind:

  • Painting pictures
  • Playing my guitar
  • Singing
  • Writing (though I already mentioned this)
  • Creating … of any kind (this is a BIG one)

These are probably the biggest areas where I tend to either 1) not do it at all because I am not confident enough in it, or 2) I am fairly confident in it, but I want it to always be so perfect and significant that it keeps me from doing it regularly.

Is the way to overcome both of these fears/hindrances to just jump right in and do them? No fear, just do it?

I’m guessing I’m not alone in this struggle …

Are any of you also holding back from pursuing various activities you love or enjoy? I’d love to hear what you have to share, if you’re willing. Truly, no pressure at all.

Yes indeed … no fear, no perfection, no holding back. Time for me to jump right back in …

To God be the Glory!