External vs. Internal Peace

Over the past few days, I’ve been contemplating the concept of peace. More specifically, having internal peace when making difficult external decisions.

I am not one who naturally enjoys or am OK with conflict, angst, arguments or disagreements. I don’t like when it happens. I like things smooth, easy, and everyone gets along and agrees with one another. Yes, I realize this is a bit unrealistic, but I also realize it’s often my hope and desire.

I’m not sure I would label myself as a peacemaker so much as a peacekeeper. There’s a subtle, yet distinct difference between the two. I do my best to please those around me to keep the peace. Don’t ruffle the feathers. Don’t stir the pot. Don’t argue or disagree … keep the peace.

This tendency often bleeds into how I make my decisions in life.

When I have a more difficult decision to make, I naturally feel “peace” when the peace is kept. No divisions. No disagreements. No conflict. No stress. No worry. I definitely prefer things to be … resistant-free.

External peace equals internal peace, right? Hmmmm …

But, is this the kind of peace that comes from the Lord? Or, is it just the easy and passive way out? I like easy. But, I like the Lord’s peace even more!

Most recently, there have been a few difficult decisions and events that have brought about not-so-peaceful feelings and circumstances. Many of them having to do with Munchkin’s case. I’ve been wrestling with what is “right” and not knowing or feeling an overwhelming sense of “peace” in what is happening.

In trying to figure out why my internal peace can be a bit illusive at times, I realized something: I truly do often equate external peace with internal peace. If there is some contention, some disagreements, some strong emotions, or some conflict … I struggle to feel at peace. Without external peace, my inner peace can wane a bit.

I brought this to the Lord because I truly do not want my external circumstances to dictate what I’m feeling internally. It’s hard for me to separate the two, quite honestly.

In desiring to have God’s peace that transcends all understanding settle into the depths of my being, I am having to intentionally submit and give our circumstances to the Lord. It’s OK if not everyone agrees. It’s OK if there is conflict. It’s OK if emotions run high. I will do my very best to live at peace with others as far as it depends on me, but I realize I cannot control how others react, speak, feel, think or do. I can only control myself.

So, as I seek to distinguish and separate external peace and internal peace, I am truly sensing the Lord’s peace settle within me. I can trust Him in the circumstances and in my decisions because I know I am trying to please the Lord, not man.

As I typed that last sentence, I was literally nodding my head with a revelation! That’s when things seem to get muddied the most: when I seek to please man over pleasing the Lord. So interesting! When I know I am seeking to please man externally, my internal peace ebbs and flows, waxes and wanes, comes and goes. Yet, when I seek to please the Lord (both internally and externally), peace abounds, regardless of my circumstances.

Praise Him!!

Until I just typed that all out, I didn’t realize the core root of my struggle boiled down to approval. Am I seeking man’s or God’s? I am immediately reminded of Galations 1:10 … whose approval am I seeking? Who am I trying to please? As Apostle Paul bluntly states, “if I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

I am thoroughly convicted, yet incredibly encouraged.

Oh Lord, thank You for Your Word that exposes, convicts, encourages, rebukes, and teaches. Thank You for showing the root of my struggle with feeling and knowing Your peace within me. Please help me to always seek Your approval with every interaction, word, thought, and decision I make. Help me also to distinguish between temporary, external peace from man, and Your unwavering peace that settles into the core of my very being. Unchanging. Constant. Life-giving. Here I am, Your servant, ready to do Your will. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

To God be the Glory!

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