The Beginning
When Papa and I began dating in 1996, it was very apparent we were going to get married. Because of this, we talked about many of our future plans together: our hopes and dreams, what we want to experience, where we want to live, what our floor plans would be for a dream house, places we want to travel to, and other various fun ideas.
One of these conversations subsequently revolved around children. We loved children. We worked with children. We had hearts for children. Over time, we discussed how many children we wanted to have in our family, as well as when we would like to have them.
Papa is the oldest of 4 children in his family and I am the second of 4 children in mine. It was very natural for us to “plan” to have 4 children of our own as well! After all, that’s what our families had done, so we’d do that, too. Right?! Right. Four children it is. We planned to have our first child about 3 years after we got married so we could enjoy our “alone” time together during those newlywed years. From there, we planned to have a child every 2 years. Yup, that’s “the plan” for us.
Or, so we thought.
Just over a year after we were married, despite many sticky note reminders (literally) all over our 2 bedroom apartment, I missed taking my birth control pills a few times one month. Guess what happened? Yup, we got pregnant. Surprise! In 2000, we had our firstborn son (Bro) a couple of months before our 2 year anniversary. He was born a year or so before we planned, but we instantly fell in love. There was so much love in our hearts that we never even knew was there!
Our hearts grew 1 size that day.
Despite the early start, things were generally going according to our plan.
Eventually, it was that time again to have another baby with our 2 years apart age gap plan. At the beginning of 2002, we were able to get pregnant very quickly! Our schedule was right on track. This baby would be due almost exactly 2 years from the time we had our first. Yay for perfect timing and perfect planning!!
Or, so we thought.
Unfortunately, only 6 weeks into the pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. The doctor said it was a chromosomal imbalance or something? I’m still not exactly sure the cause of the miscarriage. It was a strange feeling to know I was pregnant, but not really feel pregnant (no morning sickness, no movement of the baby, etc.), and lose a baby in the process. We grieved our loss. Papa did have a little harder time, emotionally, than me as he was truly ready and eager to have another baby. But, we worked through our emotions together. I know every miscarriage experience is different for individuals and couples. My heart hurts for the many mothers who have experienced the grief of losing a baby. It is not an easy road, no matter how or when you travel it.
With all of these happenings, our doctor told us to wait a few months before trying to get pregnant again. My body needed time to adjust and heal while our emotions needed to settle a bit, too. We welcomed and accepted that counsel.
Little did we know, those few months of waiting would never come. We were pregnant only 1 month/cycle later. Wow. Though we did not plan to get pregnant immediately after the miscarriage, we were grateful for the quick healing.
Twenty-six months after we had Bro, we delivered a beautiful baby girl (Demo) into the world. A wonderful little miracle who led us in singing and dancing.
Our hearts grew 2 sizes that day.
We enjoyed our “perfect” little family. Papa, Momma, Bro and Demo. By societies standards, we had the “perfect little family!” However, we had always talked about having 4 children, remember?
When our baby girl was just 3 months old, yes THREE months old, we found out we were pregnant again! Wait a minute. What?! Pregnant? AGAIN? So quickly?! Even while nursing Demo? Craziness. This means the gap between our 2nd and 3rd child will be only ONE year, not TWO! Hold on, this is not according to our plan!
Once again, we were stoked. Completely shocked, yes, but incredibly excited! Another baby to love, hold and raise. We were thrilled!
A mere 12 1/2 months after Demo was born, we gave birth to a happy, healthy, made-her-presence-known baby girl (Sparkle).
Our hearts grew 3 sizes that day.
Papa and I were now the proud parents of 3 beautiful children in just 3 short years. Bro was 3 years and 3 months old, Demo was 12 1/2 months old and we had a newborn baby girl, Sparkle. Wow. Not what we had pictured in our heads … but we loved (almost) every crying, laughing, diaper changing, sleepless night, playing, and feeding moment.
Three children in three years … but, we always wanted four children in our family. We’ll wait a bit before having him/her.
Or, so we thought.
Only 16 months after our 3rd child was born, we gave birth to our 2nd son (King) in 2005. We had our 4th baby. Four babies in 4 1/2 years (Bro was 4 yrs 7 mo, Demo was 2 yrs 5 mo, Sparkle was 16 mo and baby boy King was a newborn). Not our original plan, but again … our hearts swelled with immense love for our babies.
In fact, our hearts grew 4 sizes that day.
This is the point in the story where people begin to question our sanity.
“Do you know what causes that?” Yes.
“Wow, your hands are really full!” Yes.
“How do you do it?” One minute at a time.
“Do you sleep?” No.
“Do you get overwhelmed?” Yes.
“Will you have any more?” That’s not the plan! ?
We now had our even more perfect family. Two boys. Two girls. None of our children were planned by us, but all were planned by God. In fact, the only pregnancy that we had truly planned, ended in a miscarriage. What a very humbling experience.
“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.” ~ Proverbs 16:9.
We had planned our way, but the Lord had directed our steps. Praise the Lord for His perfect, though unexpected, timing!
As Psalm 127:3 declares, our four children ARE a blessing from the Lord!
Our hearts were at FULL capacity!
Or, so we thought …
(stay tuned for Part 2 …)